Even More Sex Myths Busted

Some myths about sex are almost as old as sex itself. And because anyone can say anything on the internet, it’s no wonder that sex myths spread faster than ever. In this post, we're diving deep to get "sex myths busted," separating fact from fiction in the world of intimacy.

It can be tough sometimes, but if you are interested in sexual wellness and sexual freedom for all, it is essential for you to discern sex facts from sex myths and do your best to promote good information provided by reliable sources.

Don't worry though, we’ve got your back. If you missed them, check out the first and second parts of the "Sex Myths Busted" series on the blog.

Are you doomed to have bad sex after you turn 40?

There is a myth that sex after 40 (or 50 or 60 – pick your decade) is bad or non-existent. This is simply not true. Sex will most likely be different at 40 than it was at 20 because of changes in your body, mind, lifestyle, relationships, and so on. But, research suggests sex definitely happens and strongly benefits you well into your older years.

According to Dr. Marty Klein, renowned AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist and author of the book Sexual Intelligence, the key to fantastic sex through the lifespan is to reimagine what you want from sex and reinvent your sexual self at different stages in your life.

You can expect your erotic life at 40 and beyond to be different than your erotic life at 20. Embrace your body and the ways you experience pleasure at every age.

Does cheating occur in non-monogamous relationships?

There is a myth that cheating cannot occur in non-monogamous relationships because non-monogamy means that you and your partner(s) have sex with anyone, anytime. This is inaccurate on quite a few fronts.

Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is an umbrella term with several relationship styles that fall under it. The reality is ENM relationships are rarely a free-for-all (although this can be the case for some relationships). Most of the time, ENM includes choosing some standards of faithfulness and limit-setting around sex and romance with people outside the primary relationship(s).

So whether you are in a monogamous or ENM relationship, there are scenarios in which cheating and breaches of boundaries can occur. The bottom line: if you are in a relationship, it is up to you and your partner(s) to communicate openly and honestly about the long-term goals, boundaries, and day-to-day expectations of the relationship.

Does sex burn as many calories as high-intensity exercise?

There is a myth that sex burns as many calories as high-intensity exercise. While sex is good for you for many reasons, a review of the research shows that it doesn’t burn as many calories as you might think.

The research evidence varies, but on the high end, you can count on burning around 100 calories during about 30 minutes of sex. These are about the same amount of calories you burn climbing stairs for 10 minutes or cleaning your house for 30 minutes.

The number of calories you burn in a sex play session depends on your body and your activity. And sex is certainly more fun and pleasurable than climbing stairs or housecleaning. But, don’t expect sex to replace a session at the gym.

Do sexual fantasies represent what you actually want in real life?

There is a myth that if you fantasize about something, some part of you must want to experience that scenario in real life. The truth is that sometimes sexual fantasies feature inappropriate partners or dangerous activities you would never want to experience in real life.

Experts today believe that your sexual fantasies may tell you something about your desires. Still, they are not necessarily a detailed script of what you actually want to experience in the mundane world. Sometimes, we have sexual fantasies that we can bring into reality, and sometimes we don't.

But because this myth exists, sometimes you may have undue fear or shame around your fantasies. And this is unfortunate because your fantasies often support your mental arousal and erotic life overall. So you are entitled to your fantasies, even if they are politically incorrect. If you hear this and still have concerns, this is a perfect reason to see a professional sex coach who can support you.